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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #46  
Old 26-02-2019, 02:27 PM
smoker smoker is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackenrose View Post
Why suddenly you want to break up with her? Because of guilt towards your family?
Or you don't love her anymore?
I feel guilty towards my family after my dad passed on as i promise him at his deathbed.
He is very close to me and in the past, i gave him a lot of problems..
So this is one thing i want to do...

I love her still but i know nothing will come out of this relationship.. and i made known to her... so i have to give up her..... which i know is not correct also... but have to do it...
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  #47  
Old 26-02-2019, 02:28 PM
FreebiezWanker FreebiezWanker is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

She will lose interest in you if she has a new distraction. Intro her to some of the bros here n if she likes any of them, most likely she will move on to her new interest....
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  #48  
Old 26-02-2019, 02:29 PM
smoker smoker is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by widman01 View Post
Break up first....see what happen... maybe empty threat
Face it one by one...
But prepare also for divorce...
Not end of the world
This is one possibility... thanks bro.....
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  #49  
Old 26-02-2019, 03:04 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by smoker View Post
Bro, u r right... but times like when i take leave to go holiday with my family.. she will go crazy and the drama appears...
How often is that? Once, twice a year?

And what do you mean by drama? What does she do? Is it so bad you can’t just put up with it while you gradually wean her off?
  #50  
Old 26-02-2019, 03:40 PM
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Re: wife and mistress

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Originally Posted by larue View Post
How often is that? Once, twice a year?

And what do you mean by drama? What does she do? Is it so bad you can’t just put up with it while you gradually wean her off?
My family went twice last year.

First, she request me to go with her.. i told her i cant.. dont have so many leave, and difficult to leave 3 kids behind.....

Then she said she will book without notice and expect me to turn up on tat day...

It's crazy......
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  #51  
Old 26-02-2019, 04:51 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by smoker View Post
My family went twice last year.

First, she request me to go with her.. i told her i cant.. dont have so many leave, and difficult to leave 3 kids behind.....

Then she said she will book without notice and expect me to turn up on tat day...

It's crazy......
And it was like this for 7 years? Or did she only start behaving like this recently?
  #52  
Old 26-02-2019, 05:10 PM
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Blackenrose Blackenrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smoker View Post
I feel guilty towards my family after my dad passed on as i promise him at his deathbed.
He is very close to me and in the past, i gave him a lot of problems..
So this is one thing i want to do...

I love her still but i know nothing will come out of this relationship.. and i made known to her... so i have to give up her..... which i know is not correct also... but have to do it...
It is not so easy to break once fallen in love. I think she also understands that nothing would come out from this relationship as well, and she is also struggling to deal with her feelings as well, just that the heart has taken over the rational thinking. I know this is not ‘correct’ to continue the relationship with her, since this is unfair to your family and you are breaking your promise to your dad who had passed on.
With all that aside, could you just please cool down and think about it. You said you love her and she loves you, believe she had made her sacrifices for you as well. Please do let her know that you still cherish her. You have been together with her for quite some time already, taking more time to resolve this matter would not create further damages right?
I have my fair share of falling in love with married men, it is not easy for a woman to share his man. I don’t encourage you to carry on the relationship with her, but take your time, don’t need to be harsh. I don’t think she has the intention of breaking up your family, she just cannot help it being in love with you. You will be frustrated from the threats and tantrums, but try to understand why she had to resort to this, she is human too. I cannot give you solutions, as everyone is different, all I can say, cool down, cherish your love with her, take your time to learn and understand her, and slowly both of you would be able to work out a solution. Lastly, just don’t give up, life has it’s challenges, you can be angry, negative, frustrated, but you just have to face it, don’t regret over whatever decisions you’d made and keep moving on with life.
  #53  
Old 26-02-2019, 05:11 PM
smoker smoker is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
And it was like this for 7 years? Or did she only start behaving like this recently?
Past yrs only argue... in fact argue daily....
Only the threatening part was 2 weeks ago......
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  #54  
Old 26-02-2019, 05:15 PM
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackenrose View Post
It is not so easy to break once fallen in love. I think she also understands that nothing would come out from this relationship as well, and she is also struggling to deal with her feelings as well, just that the heart has taken over the rational thinking. I know this is not ‘correct’ to continue the relationship with her, since this is unfair to your family and you are breaking your promise to your dad who had passed on.
With all that aside, could you just please cool down and think about it. You said you love her and she loves you, believe she had made her sacrifices for you as well. Please do let her know that you still cherish her. You have been together with her for quite some time already, taking more time to resolve this matter would not create further damages right?
I have my fair share of falling in love with married men, it is not easy for a woman to share his man. I don’t encourage you to carry on the relationship with her, but take your time, don’t need to be harsh. I don’t think she has the intention of breaking up your family, she just cannot help it being in love with you. You will be frustrated from the threats and tantrums, but try to understand why she had to resort to this, she is human too. I cannot give you solutions, as everyone is different, all I can say, cool down, cherish your love with her, take your time to learn and understand her, and slowly both of you would be able to work out a solution. Lastly, just don’t give up, life has it’s challenges, you can be angry, negative, frustrated, but you just have to face it, don’t regret over whatever decisions you’d made and keep moving on with life.
Thanks.. u are spot on... and there is no solution..... but time is not on my side..
My wife planning a holiday with the kids in June... and i dont know how to "pacify" her this time...
I really hope this can be settle peacefully.....
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  #55  
Old 26-02-2019, 06:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smoker View Post
Thanks.. u are spot on... and there is no solution..... but time is not on my side..
My wife planning a holiday with the kids in June... and i dont know how to "pacify" her this time...
I really hope this can be settle peacefully.....
There you go again.. Please, you are a man, you have a family to take care of. Be positive, be strong. There is still plenty of time from June. 'Pacify'? Just do what you would do, if you love her, just be sincere, if u can show you are trying to be fair to her as well, she would be alright. Choose a good time to talk with her, maybe talk over bed after your deed with her, not just over the phone.. She will try to understand you as well.
  #56  
Old 26-02-2019, 11:07 PM
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackenrose View Post
There you go again.. Please, you are a man, you have a family to take care of. Be positive, be strong. There is still plenty of time from June. 'Pacify'? Just do what you would do, if you love her, just be sincere, if u can show you are trying to be fair to her as well, she would be alright. Choose a good time to talk with her, maybe talk over bed after your deed with her, not just over the phone.. She will try to understand you as well.
Ok sure.. thanks for your advice...
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  #57  
Old 27-02-2019, 01:42 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by smoker View Post
She wants me to be with her... if i want to break up, she will tell my wife and family all about us....

That is the last thing i want to happen......
Smoker, you said she wants you to be with her? What does she mean by that? She's willing to continue as your mistress or she wants to replace your wife?

I think you are highly stress by this and not thinking logically.

I gathered you must be pretty well off to be able to have a mistress. I suppose you are supporting her now (even though she has a job), so cutting her off means a sudden drastic drop in her lifestyle??

I don't know how old or attractive you are, it may not be for money, may the feelings she have for you is too strong??

We do not know what arrangement you have with your mistress and hence what she wants. I agree with what Sis Blacken Rose says there is no solution (from us) you have to see what she wants and negotiate with your mistress.

Just to say, my ex-boss (the old bastard) have 1 wife + 2 mistresses (although he refers to them as his wives).....1 of them stays in Malaysia, so he travel and stay there couple of days a week.....

I once asked him, how he managed, he told given the chance he will not do it again.....I have 3 women and 5 kids to care for, I have no time to do the things I love, that was during a fishing trip, a first for him in 30 years.

Sorry for the rant
  #58  
Old 27-02-2019, 01:45 PM
alan1999 alan1999 is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Hi Smoker
Heard your story and it remind me of mine.
I have been through all these more then 10 year ago.
I agreed with some bro said, own it up like a man. That is the best solution!
Have a good heart to heart talk with your wife.
For the children sake, i believe she will forgive you. Everyone deserve a second chance.
It might be tough starting but slowly your wife will understand if you really put in effort to chance.
  #59  
Old 27-02-2019, 01:51 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

I don't really agree with the part about own up and talk to your wife.....to each his own.....his wife may not forgive him.....I think smoker knows his wife best.....he should think through first...

I mean whatever course he takes, there is a chance that his wife will leave him, as long as he is clear about that then I think he will have peace of mind.
  #60  
Old 27-02-2019, 02:01 PM
smoker smoker is offline
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Re: wife and mistress

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
Smoker, you said she wants you to be with her? What does she mean by that? She's willing to continue as your mistress or she wants to replace your wife?

I think you are highly stress by this and not thinking logically.

I gathered you must be pretty well off to be able to have a mistress. I suppose you are supporting her now (even though she has a job), so cutting her off means a sudden drastic drop in her lifestyle??

I don't know how old or attractive you are, it may not be for money, may the feelings she have for you is too strong??

We do not know what arrangement you have with your mistress and hence what she wants. I agree with what Sis Blacken Rose says there is no solution (from us) you have to see what she wants and negotiate with your mistress.

Just to say, my ex-boss (the old bastard) have 1 wife + 2 mistresses (although he refers to them as his wives).....1 of them stays in Malaysia, so he travel and stay there couple of days a week.....

I once asked him, how he managed, he told given the chance he will not do it again.....I have 3 women and 5 kids to care for, I have no time to do the things I love, that was during a fishing trip, a first for him in 30 years.

Sorry for the rant

Hi bro.. i not rich nor handsome nor fit or macho... just another ordinary person..
She wants me to be with her... meaning leave my family cause she cannot endure me going holidays with family.. taking leave with my family etc.... because of her feelings for me, not money... i am not supporting her financially.

She threatens to break my family if i want to break up.. she doesn't care if my family breaks up and we break up... she just doesnt want me to be with my family..

I mean i can still continue with her...

I have come to thoughts / senses after she said that.. i regretted only now after my kids spend more time with me..

That aside, i confirm now have no extra time / mile to travel both places...
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